The Half Life of Siblings

Earlier this year, my sister allowed my niece to join Facebook. In her family, this represents a coming-of-age moment, something all three of her children had to earn. My niece, a social butterfly fed up with missing the latest gossip, begged to create her profile for almost a year, but my sister refused to budge until she started middle school.

When she joined, I vowed to inspect her profile daily for possible predators, just as I had done with her older brothers. Instead, I discovered a long list of siblings I had never heard of. Within days of creating her Facebook profile, she had adopted several sisters, adding them to her “family” list alongside her real brothers.

Facebook sisters. What did this mean?

The fluidity fascinates me: click a button, adopt a sister; click again, lose a sister. Is this the new “blood brothers” for a high-tech generation?

I remember as a child wishing my best friend were my brother. We even went so far as to share drops of our blood from skinned knees and hands. “You’re my blood brother,” I said. “You’re my blood sister,” he said. It was private, just between us. We never told our parents or announced it to other friends. It was also an intimate act, exchanging our most vital fluid. We had to touch one another to do it. We had to commit: Once we shared blood, there was no removing it.  Then again, we could deny it. We could forget it. We did both.

At first I think my niece’s Facebook “sisters” represent a whole new conception of siblings and family, but then I see my sister doing this, too – adding her friend’s children as “nephews.” Maybe she did it because I don’t have children, and she wants to be an aunt. Or maybe the entire definition of family is shifting. Can social networks really expand our families?

Even still, there is something different about the way my niece adds these “sisters.” She does it without self-consciousness, without explanation. She plays with the list, changing people’s status as “sibling” or “friend.” I never see my sister doing that. She added her “nephews” and “niece” and left their statuses alone. Then again, she is their godmother, so perhaps this is just an extension of their offline relationship.

How would you feel if someone added you as a Facebook sibling? Have you witnessed your own children or siblings doing this? Do you add Facebook siblings?