separated siblings
by halflifeofsiblings
- from KETV Omaha
How do siblings lose track, even with one traveling the world? It seems like it should be impossible, and yet, here are siblings separated for 52 years. Have you lost track of a sibling? Have you found the sibling again or are you still looking?
I never knew I had a half sibling until I was 64 and he was 66. He found me through genealogy records. He had not known that his mother had been married before and that his “dad” adopted him. I didn’t know my dad had been married before either.
Now we are trying to reconnect after never knowing about each other. any advice?
Hi Karen–First of all, how amazing your brother found you after all these years. I take it he reached out to you after his genealogical discovery? How did you feel when you first heard from him?
Alas, I wish I had words of wisdom. I feel lost and confused about a recently discovered half-sibling in my own family. In my case, the sibling does not want a relationship, though, so it is different.
In your case, it sounds as though both of you want to connect–Am I correct? I am guessing he is curious about his father, too. I wonder if there is any twinge of resentment or loss there? I think it might work to meet in a neutral location and be ready to answer lots of questions about your father, because I am sure your half-brother is curious.
The only wisdom I can share is to be ready for your life and sense of self to change … I was not prepared emotionally or psychologically for how much it would mean to me to discover another sister, or how much it would affect me (positively and negatively) to learn more about my half brothers. Siblings are a beautiful thing, but they can also be very confusing.
I hope you and your newfound half-brother can develop a sibling bond. It will be hard, because you do not have that shared upbringing, but who says it is impossible? Best of luck to you!
Thank you. Yes, after he found out who his biological dad was, he started tracking us down and finally found me. Yes, I am sure there is loss and some resentment on his side; I know there is on mine. He says he wants a relationship, and I do, too, but I don’t know what kind of relationship it can be with no shared memories. He was four when his adopted father adopted him and has no memories of our dad although his mom said that our dad visited several times before then.
I have told him lots and lots about Dad and am copying pictures for him. We are thinking of meeting in June.