The Half Life of Siblings

Sometimes, it can feel as though siblings steal your identity, laying claim to experiences or memories that “belong” to you. This has happened to me before, when I reminisced with my sister about a scheme I plotted as a child, and she swore–in perfect earnestness–that I was mistaken. The scheme was hers, not mine. Other times, I might share a memory, and she fails to remember it the same way (or at all). Or she interprets an event so differently that I question whether it happened at all–and whether that “piece” of me really exists.

But what if a sibling stole your identity for real? What if it was malicious, on purpose, and criminal? What if your own sibling killed you off for profit?

That is what happened to Douglas Arvil Daniels, whose brother, Jason Robert Daniels, has plead guilty to stealing Douglas’ identity to join the Marines and then faking his suicide as a cover up. He faked suicide so he could reap the monetary rewards “earned” under his brother’s identity while living as his “true self” again.

This crime is really quite profound: a brother reborn twice, once as his brother, and once as his brother’s “killer.”

Of course, it was probably easier for Jason Robert Daniels to steal his brother’s identity than a stranger’s: he probably knew his brother intimately, shared experiences with him, knew his addresses, knew his work history and probably had access to his social security number. They might have even looked alike, making it easy to use or fabricate fake ID. However, this crime seems to cut much deeper than that. This is sibling rivalry taken to a whole new level of maliciousness. This is about betrayal, not just criminal scheming.

How does a family even recover from this? How do siblings become siblings again? Can they?

Has a sibling ever stolen your identity–literally (as in the case above), or in that infinitely more murky way, refusing or refuting the validity of your experiences? On the flip side, have you ever wished you were your brother or sister? Have you stolen a sibling’s identity–anything from using your big sister’s ID to score beer to opening a fraudulent credit account?

What does “identity” mean when thinking about siblings? Do siblings even have distinct “identities” (in the sense that they can be separated out) to steal from one another?