The Half Life of Siblings

A couple of years ago, my brother (half brother, as family often corrects me) died. I had not seen him in 18 years – not since my mother booted him out of my life forever. Friends and family – even my spouse – did not understand the intensity of my grief. After all, I hardly knew my brother. But I mourned for the brother I never had. The brother I wanted. The brother I did have for a brief time, when he showed up on our doorstep and stayed with my mother, father, sister and I until he found another job and home. For what a brother should have been.

For weeks, I wandered into greeting card shops, looking for comfort. I found cards for loss of mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, son, and daughter — nothing for the loss of a sibling, let alone a “half” sibling. More than once, I slipped my brother’s obituary in the slot for “Birthday–Brother” and stared at it.

How did I measure a half loss? What was the half-life of a sibling bond?

And so, this blog’s title: The Half Life of Siblings.